The best thing in life...is simply living.

When you are aware of, hear, see and feel the pain and sadness in the lives of others, it can only make you appreciate what you have – not what you don’t have, haven’t had in the past or won’t have in the future.

So many people who have really lovely lives love to moan; about their job being crap, they want a new car, the kids are getting on their nerves, they’ve no money to go on holiday, the're husband doesn't do the washing up right, life's not fair, I hate.. I want... Yarda yarda yarda (You know what I mean?)... and yes, we all fall into the poor me trap sometimes, but we get out before we get bogged down with poor me syndrome. So how is it that so many people do not jump out of that hole before it becomes a deep dark and sulky life, losing the capability to look up to see how beautiful the sky is, or appreciate that they can pick up the phone and talk to the person they love or even appreciate that they have a working body?

I think maybe society today wants so much that they just can’t see what they have – the simplest things is what makes up your life, your everyday tasks; for me washing up with my music blaring and shaking my bum in time to the beat, tidying up the incessant mess my 2 year old makes, picking up my daughter from school and hearing her babble on about what she has done, working until the small hours in the office with my husband beside me on his computer tapping away, the snuggle and kiss goodnight before we fall asleep... and most importantly waking up to radio 6 (they always have a great song on at 6am!) getting up and getting out of bed is bloody hard work when it’s cold outside and you’ve only had 4 hours sleep, but it’s a new day and it’s another day in your life to carry on doing those simple things that one day will be taken away from you.

Living life ... It’s great. It’s so simple, good God, I would miss it if I couldn't do it!

How do I tell these grumpy folks to wake up to life?


"Because terminal illness robs its victims of so much. Of all the ordinary days which drift past without you noticing — the days of simply sharing a life as it goes by" Roads -the price of love blog

'stepping up, stepping in and facing the facts'

I am about to face some facts - the fact is all the people I work with or the people I work for are either dead or dying. They are not 'passed on' and they are not 'lost' - they are dead! It hurts for me to say it but from now on I'm going to say it! No skirting round the truth!

When I say 'I'm sorry for your loss', what I really mean is 'I really am bloody sorry your mum died and I see your pain'. But I don't want to say it because I feel it may hurt them and I don't want to hurt them anymore than they are already hurting - So I skirt round the truth, fluff it up and say anything but the reality of the situation!

When we speak to the bereaved, we say 'she had a great life' or 'she was loved'. Yarda yarda yarda - If there's a window of opportunity not to be sad then hands up, I'll take it, as will everyone else if they are to be honest. Its the easy option... but what about the people we are driving off from? Leaving them on the side of the road to find their own way home just to save an uncomfortable journey!?

By skirting round the truth, we are putting the bereaved into a situation where they end up looking after us, the non bereaved. They save our feelings because we are uncomfortable and they know that. So they try to save us from any more uncomfortable English situations! The bereaved protect our feelings by being positive or changing the subject, we act all polite (and thankful for our escape), then we make our excuses and bugger off on our own to have a cry for being so bloody useless, leaving the bereaved to bugger off on their own for a cry because everyone is being so bloody useless!!!

Now - I'm really good at my job because people come to me, they want my help, they open the door for me to come in and so its easy(ish) for me to help - but when my own distant family die I find it really hard to step up because I don't want to invade - I have no idea why I feel this way... its ironic really - however something is tapping me on the shoulder and saying - things need to change, not just with me but with the whole of the UK!

Suggestions on a postcard please!